I lost my Gizmo last week

Sunday, June 15, 2008, my Chi/Papillon dog Gizmo, 5 years old, started acting funny. He didn't want to walk around, or go outside, and he couldn't go to the bathroom. I was concerned because he was perfectly fine on Saturday so we went to the emergency clinic to find out what's wrong with him. I was told he had a stomach issue, probably ate something bad she said, and she gave me medicines for him. At 2:00 Monday morning Gizmo woke me up with his whining. He was in so much pain that he couldn't sleep. I called the emergency clinic to ask if I could give him more pain medicine and sat up with him for an hour until he seemed more relaxed. I had him to our vet at 8:30 Monday morning. In less than two minutes he told me that Gizmo had a back injury and we did an x-ray. We put him on steroids to reduce the inflamation in his spine. By Monday night he still didn't want to walk around, but he seemed happier. He was being very attached to me though, and would whine if I walked into a room and he couldn't see me. I called the vet Tuesday morning to tell him that Gizmo was not in pain anymore, but he also could not use his hind end at all. The vet said that was what he was the most afraid of. We doubled his dose of steroids for the day, and set an appointment for Wednesday morning. My vet said that we would be able to tell if he was going to get better by then. I think I knew deep down that I would be losing Gizmo on Wednesday, 2 days before my birthday. I called my dad to go to the vet with me, and within about 1 minute of being there I was told that he wouldn't get better. I held Gizmo's head in my hands until he passed away. It was the hardest decision I've ever had to make. I can't help but think if only I had waited another couple of days, maybe he would have gotten better. But I put all of my trust into my vet, and I believe if there was any chance of him pulling out of this, my vet would not have advised me to make this decision. I buried Gizmo at my parent's house on the farm because he loved to go up there and play. He would always start freaking out and running around my car whining when we got about 1 mile away. Giz rode under the seat in the car because he didn't like being in the sun when he was in the car, but somehow he always knew when we turned onto my parent's road! It was the funniest thing ever. I can go visit his grave, but it is so hard not having him here with me. I hope he understands that I tried and did everything I could to help him. I am so upset over losing him. I always joked to people that gizmo would live so long that when he died I'd probably die too from a broken heart. Well, my heart is broken, but I'm not dead yet! I was so looking forward to alot more years with Gizmo. He was my buddy and I will always miss him. I will never forget about him.