heartbroken

[my angels]

To all that have lost a beloved pet, my heart aches for each and every one.  My cat Arthur suffered a severe tail pull injury which resulted in having him euthenized.  He was only 2. The heart and head are battling. I know I did the right thing but should I have put him thru surgery even though they said it wouldn't help.  The pain will subside, but it will never go away.  I had an 18 yr old who died in the house cuz I was to selfish to put her down. I will never make that mistake again.  My 12 yr old was put down without my knowledge and I had a nervous breakdown because of it.  I was there for him, but it hurt just as much if not more. When he saw us he struggled to meow. I felt as if he was saying good let's go home now.  It takes time to greive, but as much as it hurts, there are so many animals in shelters waiting for a home and love to share.  They will never replace the  ones we lost, but have there own personality and make us laugh, love and worry all over again.  So please never say you'll never adopt again. They bring to much joy while they are here.  When I brought his ashes home I cried as I've been doing for weeks now, that I'll never see his face or hear his purr or meow again. I asked him to give me a sign that he hears me, that he wasn't mad, that he's with me.  Come to me in a dream or something.  The next a.m. I walked in my back yard to see a cat that looked just like my Arthur.  I've never seen him around before.  He came to me, purred, meow and wrapped his tail around my leg just like my baby use to do.  After taking a few pictures, I went to get him some food and he was gone. That was 2 weeks ago and I haven't seen him since.  They will always be with us. I hope everyone can ask for and find a sign just like mine. No matter how small I bet you'll find one. I wish all of you the best.  It takes a lot of time.  And I am deeply sorry for your loss.

[Erica]

That is an awesome story about the cat that found you, then disappeared. I wish my story was as inspirational as yours.

I struggled with my decision for 4 days. I think I knew deep down the first day that Gizmo was hurt what the outcome was going to be; even with the worthless emergency vet's diagnosis. I didn't figure her worthless until the next day, or I would have gone to see a different emergency vet...money was not an object to me at that time . I was not ever one to take him to the vet if he had a cough...he was tough I had also never had any health problems with him. For some reason, that Sunday, I decided he needed to go. I will never be able to explain it, I just knew he needed to go to the vet. Well the result was a lot of money out of my pocket, which is fine, but the diagnosis was **it. I even got some money back from them when it was said and done because I was so discusted with them and told them so. I would give every single penney I have to have Gizmo back, but I wanted them to share in some responsibility.

Anyway, my story about Gizmo "visiting".        It was probably about 2 weeks after he died. I went to bed like normal, in my lonely house without him. I had a dream that we were at the vet's office that fateful Wednesday (the day I had to put him down) and our vet told me he would not make it. I told the vet that since he wasn't in pain anymore that I wanted to just wait a couple days and see what happened. If it wasn't going to hurt him then what was the harm in waiting to see? (please remember this is a dream) Well, in my dream he got better. He was 100% fine by the time we went back a couple days later.

As if I wasn't struggling enough with the decision I already had to make, my damn subconscious had to go and just make things a thousand times worse. As if I wasn't already second guessing myself and my decision for the well being of my baby, now I will always wonder even more. I wish I would have never had this dream.