Trying to deal with the loss of my baby oreo!

[oreotookie]

I'm new to this but I have been told it helps to share memories and thoughts about your lost loved ones.  It has been 5 days since I had to put down my baby Oreo Tookie.  He was the sweetest cat.  He was always there when I needed a shoulder to cry on.  I still feel so terrible, I have this huge knot in my stomach and I'm filled with guilt.    I just couldn't bare to see him suffer the pain of the cancer anymore.  When the vet told me nothing else could be done I knew it was time.  But looking back now on my decision I wish I had brought him home, I don't know if he was ready to leave.  I wish I had more time with him.  This is alot harder than I ever imagined it to be. I just hope and pray that my baby Oreo knows that I did what I did out of Love. I wrote a poem in hopes that it would help me deal with my loss.  In loving memory of the best cat ever.

Oreo Tookie

From the day you found me you were so small and scared.
 You were so sick and just needed someone who cared.
I opened my heart and my home,
And found a friend whom I never wanted to let go.

From your gentle eyes that see so much,
to your paws that have the softest touch.
To your purrs to signal "all is well"
and showed more love than words can tell.

From your handsome face,
that always took me to a happy place.
To the morning talks we used to share,
and how you let me know you'll always be there.

You scratched the furniture and you shed
and you claimed my side of the bed.
You slept with me almost every night,
until the morning sun shined so bright.

When you got sick I was so scared,
There was no way I could be prepared.
For all this pain that I feel,
I just don't know how to deal.

It hurt so bad to let you go,
I wanted so badly to say NO.
I held you tight and whispered to you,
I love you so much and I will miss you.

In life I loved you dearly, in death I love you still.
In my heart you hold a place no one could ever fill.
So with heavy hearts and tears in my eyes,
after all these years we must say our goodbyes.

This is what I will remember when
I think of my little Tookie man.

[Shelia]

Oh, how I know how feel.  I just had to make the decision with my beloved Bailey yesterday.  She was a unremarkably sweetest Siamese you could. have.  She got sick a week before Christmas with megacolon.  We went back and forth to the vet and sometimes had to be sedated to clear her  free of poop that she could not longer push out.  Then she started to drop weight so quick that the vet said more than likely she had lymphnoma but was not a candidate for surgery to really find out.  I know most people may think itis a sin to love an animal  the way I loved her.  She was always there for me, ready to always show her love.  It was so hard to go to bed last night knowing she would not  be there to get under the covers and lay her sweet head on my pillow and wake up with her beside me.  I also feel like something is ripping my insides out because I hurt so bad for her loss.  I would not want her back as sick as she was, if she could have only gotten better.  That was a beautiful  poem you wrote about your preciouso Oreo. I sympathize with you.  Only God, prayers, time and precious memories will get us through this.

Shelia